Friday, May 29, 2009


I got an email from a friend who wanted to know why my blog had turned so depressing. First, it just happens to be my life right now. And if that happens to be depressing, that’s part of life. And this part of life just happens to be dementia.

The dictionary defines dementia –noun - severe impairment or loss of intellectual capacity and personality integration, due to the loss of or damage to neurons in the brain.

And right now that’s what is running my life, and taking over my every minute. I’m sorry if you find that depressing. The changes in my friend are not her fault. She can’t help it. And no, I don’t have to put up with it. She isn’t my family, but for years she has been more like family to me than most of my family is. So I’m doing my best to take care of her.

And when the time comes that I can’t take care of her, we have made arrangements for then. Until then, I will do my best.

No, I am not alone in this, John has been doing as much “care giving” as I have been, and he’s had some rough times too. Yesterday he stopped by to check on her on his way home from work. And as soon as he was finished dinner, he was out to door to go help his Dad. That’s my John, and that’s why I love him… well one of the many reasons!

And to my friends who have been so supportive and understanding through all of this, there just aren’t enough thanks. Thanks for listening to me, thanks for calling me, thanks for the hugs, real and cyber.


  1. Sometimes our lives are just depressing and other times they are filled with joy. May you find peace in this time of your life but find some happiness every day.

  2. ((((CB)))) you are in my prayers daily, and your wonderful John too. You are the kind of friend that I hope I have in 20-30 years if I need this kind of loving care. Just keep on posting no matter what the day has been like - sharing lightens the load on your broad shoulders, that's what we're here for.

  3. I have no words to convey how touched I've been by your posts. Dementia seems to be a cruel fate that steals the connections between now and the past, leaving its victms wandering with no directions. My aunt was very good at "faking" - she would carry on conversations that were filled with the pleasantness of her "before" conversations but totally devoid of the things that would show that she truly was not sure who you were, or why she felt like she should know you. AS Liz said - you are in my prayers. I pray that when our mortal frailties have passed away, your friend will be back with you, as good as ever.
    ((((CB)))) remember - joys shared are multiplied, sadness shared is diminished.


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