Level of pain

This is in reply to those few friends and family members in my life who say I sat on my butt for nine months and it’s no wonder I can’t walk right now. Everyone has a level of pain they can tolerate, and only that person knows what that is. You can not tell me that I should have been exercising my legs all along because you don’t understand my pain. And you should not be saying that I’ve had the surgery so there isn’t anything else wrong with me now.

Yes I do understand the “use it or lose it” theory, and believe me, if I could have used my legs I would have. But there is no way I can begin to explain the level of pain I have been through, and I don’t intend on trying.

I do know that the pain I am feeling now is different, and I am learning what I can and can not tolerate. Today in physical therapy the therapist asked me to say Uncle when what I was doing hurt, and when I said Uncle two minutes into the exercise, she sat down with me and gave me a lecture. She said if that hurt that soon, then she knew darn well the one before hurt too, and I should have said something as soon as it did. She said that hurting myself would not help anything at all. I told her I was pushing myself and she said that is good and that is bad. Pushing one’s self to improve is good, but not if it hurts, which could cause even more pain and problems. I can see improvement, and so can they, but I want it faster.

I am quite thankful the therapist had that little talk with me, it has helped me realize I shouldn't push myself, and that only I can understand my level of pain. So keep your comments to yourself if they are critical, I can only pray you never have to feel like I do now.