I love emails like this...

From the desk of the Commissioner of Internal Revenue ,
Treasury Internal Revenue Service Department.
Bureau of Consular Affairs.
Puyallup, Washington 98374

Good day,
 
This is to bring to your notice that, I have paid for the re-activation and the delivery fee of your long awaited ATM card.
 
      I paid for the above fees on your behalf because, the ATM card with the Personal Identification Number (PIN) 8119 for $11,000,000.00 (ELEVEN MILLION USD) , has less than three days to expire, however, if it does expires, the fund in it will go into the Government's purse which will in-turn be looted by corrupt government officials and I do not want this to happen, that is why I decided to pay the re-activation and the delivery fee so that the ATM card will not expire because, I believe when you receive your ATM card,  you will definitely pay me back and even compensate me more for helping you. Now, I want you to contact the Delivery Company in charge of the delivery of your said ATM card with your Full Contact / Delivery information stated below so that they can deliver your ATM card to your designated address without any further delay :

Why do I love emails like that?  Because they give me a morning chuckle, sometimes even a good belly laugh.  Everyone should start the day with a good morning chuckle and eleven million dollars!

So what would I do with $11,000,000, that’s easy. 

First I would pay off our mortgage and the mortgage on my in-laws house.  That would give us more money monthly to spend. 

Then I would pay the college debts of our boys and their ladies college debts too, so they would all have more money monthly to spend. 

I would pay for Aunt Sheryl’s room for the rest of her life, so she can keep her kitties as long as she wants and so she won’t ever have to move again. 

I would give my sister-in-law enough money to buy her own place and allow her to quit her job and pursue her dreams of being a photographer, crafter or even just the best Oma she can be. 

Oh Oh, I’d buy the dump empty house next door, tear it down and build Cheri her own place and lots of extra rooms for her crafts and extra guest rooms for her kids and their kids when they come to visit and a wing with a few more extra rooms for our kids and theirs when they come to visit too! 

I would make all the additions, improvements, and upgrades on this house that we’ve ever thought or dreamed of.  A four car garage for John’s vehicles and boat (after I get him a new boat) and plenty of storage room for all his “stuff”.  A real master suite, two walk in closets, a bathroom for each of us, a fireplace for chilly evenings and enough space to live in should we ever need to be taken care of.  A screened in front porch with rockers to sit and watch the birdies.  All new windows, a new roof, and maybe fresh new siding.  Two separate heat pumps, one up and one down, to conserve energy.  A wind turbine in the back yard and solar panels too, to make energy.  And I would love an enclosed pool, summer and winter swimming, and of course pool service so John doesn’t have to do it.  And a gardener and lawn service to give John a break from those chores. 

I would make a $10,000 donation to East Sussex Relay yearly, and give big donations to all my friends who do walks for their favorite charities, and generous donations to all of my own favorite charities. 

I would put my favorite quilter on salary to guarantee she can quilt my UFOs as fast as I make them. 

I would hire a chauffeur to drive me and my stuff to Lancaster for more retreats every year.  I make sure I had the best room at the Inn for myself and my roommate, preferably John, but that’s up to him.  I'd cover almost the whole cost of the retreats for all the faithful retreaters. 

I would build my dream sewing room… speaking of sewing rooms, enough dreaming, I need to get back to work….  Sigh…